I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I am one with the molecules
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
