There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He shit in the fireplace
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
