Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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