I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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