I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize