I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize