the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
