I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
