Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
