i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
