Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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