You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He passed out mid-signature
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
and you fell through a lawn chair
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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