Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
