Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
