I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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