My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
