Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
