mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
