I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
