She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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