Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
