I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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