Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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