i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
