You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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