another moral hangover. fuck.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
