She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
