I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
