Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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