let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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