he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
