I'm jealous of your bromance
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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