is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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