I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
