Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think my moral compass just broke
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
