The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
