Me. At least after what I've been through.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
