Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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