if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
