I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize