I'm eating all of the evidence.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
