Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
