My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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