Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
