Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
