we're chasing vodka with high fives
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Someone shattered a urinal.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
