I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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