I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize