i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
