I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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