the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
