watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
