We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
