I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
