Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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