She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
