Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
