i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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