I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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