Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Couch. On fire.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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