No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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