I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
