I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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