come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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