never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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