I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we're making bets on your personal life
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
