why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
