im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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