I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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