i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
