i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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