ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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